December 2009
43 posts
So my list of potential new years resolutions is currently looking like this…….
Stop procrastinating.
Leave the house every day.
Do more work.
Be more enthusiastic and motivated.
Become a vegetarian.
Eat healthily every day.
Exercise.
Don’t spend money on pointless things like lunch.
Stop being nice to people who don’t deserve it.
Don’t let dirty clothes and...
Me: The perfect new years resolution for me would be "don't procrastinate." It's something I really, really want to do but physically can't and won't.
Dan: Haha, they do anti-procrastination classes at uni.
Me: Hmm, I'd just go "oh, i'll go to the next one, i've got to re-alphabetise my books tonight..." "what books?" "well, the ones i'm buying on the way home of course." Surely the people that go to those classes are only there because they have something more important they should be doing! It's MADNESS!
I tried to get a picture of my chocolate Santas but it didn’t work… I wanted to show you them because they look like terrorists.
“Well yes, if you light a match and put it by your bottom when you pass wind, you...”
– Mum, Christmas dinner 2009 >.<
“Oh my God, it’s been like a year since I had a Christmas dinner!”
– Maz, Christmas dinner 2009
“My broccoli is actually the size of the rainforest… I know the rainforest...”
– Me, Christmas dinner 2009
“Awww, that’s textbook getting together.”
:))))))))
“Sprouts are icky, yucky, smelly,
They’re not welcome in my belly,
I...”
– Me, aged about 8 probably.
mum: today, i cling-filmed a table…
Today’s topics are bum cracks and the contraception advert. Both fascinating topics (or at least intriguing) i’m sure you’ll agree…
Bum cracks first - today I saw 3 of them during a 2 hour exam and it wasn’t that nice. I’m in no doubt my underwear was on show (as i couldn’t find a belt :/) but at least i have nice pretty knickers on and wasn’t just...
TUMBLARITY: 1?! WHAT.
Also £125 for road tax? Well, that sucks.
I wonder how much Dermot O’Leary gets paid for his X Factor hosting…. I’m convinced he just said “Welcome back to the X Factor final TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT.” :| errr, I’d fire him.
I don’t know what’s right and what’s real any more. I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore. When do you think it will all become clear? Because I’m being taken over by the fear.
I really love eBay! I’ve just got like £16 for a Cruella DeVille fancy dress costume which i wore once like 2 years ago and has been in a drawer ever since… :D You see I have a master plan to try really hard to get my bank balance to only go UP and not down and little miracles like this really help!
Rick: I haven't opened my advent calendar in a few days... I might as well have just bought a bar of chocolate.
Me: But then you don't get the fun of a shit little festive picture every day.
Rick: Mine has really crap christmas questions, like "where does Santa usually land his sleigh?"
Me: In Mrs. Claus?
Rick: :D That's terrible.
Me: What's the actual answer?
Rick: On the roof.
Me: Hahahahaha.
Rick: On the back there is a big logo saying "made from cardboard." Oh shit, I wasn't aware that cardboard was made from cardboard. Complete morons really are catered for.
I hate it when old men drive all the way down a long, straight main road in the cycle lane at the speed limit. Err,hello? It’s a cycle lane for a reason… if they were to lose concentration for a second or not see the cyclist (because let’s face it, these fuddie-duddies are probably registered blind and not quite tall enough to see over the wheel either) they would just mow them...
10 grand let me see you shake it like you’ve got no bones in your body and you was made to be a celebrity 20 grand know it’s a sin but if for me you show me a little more skin it would fulfill my fantasy 30 grand to the highest bidder but chris rock said there’s no sex in the champagne room 40 grand looked into her eyes i saw tears falling down type of tears that money...
I’ve got a trapped nerve in my bum.
Oww.
Gahh. I hate how I keep coming across receipts for like £40 here and £42 there… and they’re all on petrol. :(
You know what this Christmas is really missing? … Woolworths. I know I would probably be all stressed out every weekend if I was still working there, but I’m sure i’d also be feeling much more festive! :( Poo you, administrators.
I hate it when you wake up and your hair looks better than it did when you went out the night before.
It must be December….. people have started throwing snowballs at me on Facebook again. >.<
